I remember the first time we met. It was during my first year in college. I have to admit, you were very attractive and, unfortunately, I didn’t know how to tell you “no.” No one ever taught me what to do if I ever met you. So I fell for your tricks. The t-shirt that you gave me for “free” ended up costing me over $1000! And, instead of breaking up with you, learning from my mistakes and moving on, I just kept coming back for more.
Over the years I thought I could “change” you and improve our relationship. However, I found out WAY too late that it would never get better, and things got outta hand real quick…to the point that I had to get legal counsel involved in order to end our relationship.
That worked out for a little while but, because I didn’t change my mindset and get to the root of my problems, I fell back into our abusive relationship. The more I tried to leave, the more you enticed me to stay, with your “free gifts,” “discounts,” and “payday loans.” You convinced me each time that you had changed and it would be better this time around. You said you never meant to hurt me and your only desire was to help me and make me happy…by any means necessary.
Over the last year or so I realized just how strong your grip really was on me. I found a letter that I wrote some years ago to get an extension on the past due rent and it was worded the same way as a letter I wrote to a creditor within the last six months! Our relationship also started to wear me out physically. I couldn’t sleep, I cried once a day for at least three or four times a week, became very withdrawn, borderline depressed, and started getting frequent headaches in addition to the anxiety attacks. My family started to suffer because of our relationship – and no one messes with my family! I thought to myself, “This is CRAZY!!! I can’t keep living like this. Something has got to change.”
So, I finally decided to take steps to let you go. Please don’t take it personally. It’s not you – it’s me. I have changed. I am not the same young girl you met in college. I am finally to the point where I am sick and tired of feeling helpless and defeated. I don’t know how to handle you, so I have to get rid of you all together and learn how to live life without you. Don’t get me wrong. I like you, but I love me more. I want to know what it feels like to have money in my savings account that is just sitting there, growing every week. I want to be able to go into the kitchen, open the fridge and find it full of food…so much so that I can barely close it! Finally, I want to be able to go shopping for me and my family and not worry about what bill might not get paid so that we can have what we need.
Now I know you’re probably thinking that this is just like the other times where I tried to break up with you, and I always came back. This time is different. I have someone in my life that truly loves me and really wants the best for me. He wants to see me prosper in every area of my life. His desire is for me to live life abundantly. And the more time I spend with Him, the more I trust Him, which means I don’t need you anymore.
So, it’s been real, but I really gotta go.
PS. And no, we can’t be “just friends.”